Friday, April 3, 2009

A Good Fart Joke Can Always Save The Day!...

I am still laughing at the wave of email that I got about recent "micalizzi-isms." Basically, you guys seem surprised that - not only have I not grown up - I actually get more immature and infantile with every passing day.

For example, Bernie and I spent 10 minutes on the phone talking fart humor and after the ridiculous jokes subsided and we stopped giggling like school kids - we both asked "who called who and what was the point of this call?" It is clear to me that the best phone calls are ones where you can laugh hard about someone shitting their pants and then move on to more important things - like BOOBIES!

I mean, honestly, what the fuck is the point of being serious when you can simply poke fun of others and cash-in on their misfortune with tasteless humor and shallowness?

But, I digress.... a few have reminded me of drunken stories from year's past that - surprisingly - I remember. Who knew that you guys had such recall of the ridiculous crap that we orchestrated while sipping a beer (or 12.)?

Of course, all of these stories deserve a blog all their own - but a quick mention to whet your appetite.

Laura was kind enough to remind me of the crazy blow-out parties at the house on High Street in Rye. How we weren't arrested, is beyond me. Probably because half the cops were at the party and higher than I was.... The most memorable moment, of course, was the party where the entire third-story patio gave way - plummeting to the ground with my brother tumbling along with the loose railings . 3 stories - onto concrete - on his head! I was doing a beer bong in the living room when Erich comes in and says "can I have a beer? oh.... and by the way - the patio collapsed and I think Billy is dead." After finishing the beer funnel challenge (which I won, of course), I excused myself to attend to my half dead brother who just fell off the house -laying there like a bird that flew into a pane of glass. The ambulance arrives, he comes to a light consciousness just long enough to give me "the finger" and then slipped back into a mild coma.
4 weeks and 1 fractured skull later and STILL in the hospital - we were planning the next party. Ah.... the memories.... Lest we forget the crazy neighbor that used to walk right into our house in the morning snooping around. I'd chase her down the stairs, down the block and back into her house while she screamed in horror and barricaded her door. Fun times, all!

Lynn- I hope you are loving the flashbacks - that house was a train wreck!

And then, there's Beulah! I am saving an ENTIRE blog this weekend just for Beulah, Harriot and Ruth memories.... stay tuned. (sorry Beulah, you'll have to wait another day or two - need to gather all of the evidence and present a compelling case)...

So, another week has passed at work and I have survived yet again. If any of you told me that I'd still work for a freakin' movie theatre company since junior high school - I'd never believe it. Living the dream!!!!! But seriously, we are down to like 2 people and a janitor in the office. I think they may have just forgotten that I am here - and intended to cut me loose years ago...... In fact, the letterhead in my desk now has the janitor's name instead of mine... hmmmm...

My mother calls me yesterday - and - after not working for a FULL year is wondering why her unemployment benefits are running out soon. She is outraged! Career under-achiever.... Maybe Obama can stimulate her package too....

Well, I am off to start my day of Goobers-related issues, then off to the comedy club which I now affectionately call "Shits and Giggles" - then a nightcap of shit-kickin' country music at the club near my house..... All in a day's fun.......

Ciao Bellas!

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