Monday, March 23, 2009

And so it begins.......

Welcome to my blog! I promise this to be an complete departure from the intelligent and entertaining... Kind of like TMZ.com just without the interesting celebrities, paparazzi or scandalous gossip... Just some random rants about the goings on in my tiny little world.

If you are still reading, clearly you have gone catatonic or you are a very loyal family member (or a catatonic family member which does not narrow it down much). Either way - that's cool by me.

I have encountered some old friends on Facebook recently and when I requested that they "friend" me, I was pleasantly surprised that they did not recoil in horror and slap down the lid of their laptop while reporting me to the administrator. Phew!

Once I overcame that hurdle, I thought.... Hey! Maybe they are genuinely interested in what I have been doing for the past decade or two...

Some have asked what I do for a living, where I live, who I am banging... (okay - not one person asked that which completely offends me. I am not A-Sexual, people!) So I figured I could share the good, the bad and the wretchedly ugly with anyone who cares to click and read.

So.... here goes..........

Some may recall a young and very rotund kid ripping tickets at the local movie theatre in Harrison, New York. As if Kathie Lee Gifford were the Czar of childhood labor, I was working at 11 years old... I am happy to report that 30 years later, I still work at the fucking movie theatre. Okay - not exactly - so let me explain...

I am the Director of Concessions for a major movie theatre company. So - technically I have moved on from little chubby usher to Head Popcorn Boy; a leap that would make any parent proud.... unless, of course, you were blessed with my parents in which case they'd continually ask "when are you going to find a real job, Patrick me-boy..." Okay they do not say "me-boy" but you get the gist.

Since the days at the Harrison Cinema my life has taken a few twists and turns. Thankfully, I always had the popcorn as my rock! (insert photo of dramatic moment, hand on forehead, clutching the pearls)....

I live near Providence, RI (blink and you'll miss it) and work outside of Boston. I bought a house on a whim in 2005 at the HEIGHT of the real estate bubble and paid lots for a very modest house that by my estimation is now worth about $22. But I digress. I really did buy it on a whim - taking a day off from my job in NY and getting in the car with the mission of finding an affordable place to live. As I screeched past the NY border and blew through Connecticut, I stumbled upon an uncharted, far away land known as PROVIDENCE! Ooooohhh, Providence. Sounds like a magical land, don't it? I thought so too - so I bought a house, changed jobs and moved all in a 30 day window. Now for those of you who have known me for a while - you are not likely surprised by this.

A few things have happened - good and bad.... Good things first.... McDonald's added a double cheeseburger to the $1 menu.... How cool is that?..... Now the bad things.... They changed the double cheeseburger to only ONE SLICE OF CHEESE to save costs! WTF!

All kidding aside......

ONE SLICE OF CHEESE? REALLY?

Well, that wraps up the good and bad for the past 20+ years. 700 Martinis later, yada, yada, yada and here I am.... Pretty uneventful. Oh, other than landing a pretty decent job, buying a house and losing a few hundred pounds. No thanks to that damn cheese.

So... no longer am I that cute little fat kid selling Goobers. I am now the middle-aged guy selling Goobers. And they say people can't change....

So, that's the quick up-to-now.... stop snoring and scroll down dammit.




For those of you that have not yet gouged out your eyes or stabbed your eardrums out with a pencil, chances are you'll be back.... That's good news too. With any luck, I'll have some mildly entertaining and rambling rants that will help answer that age-old question....

Is Micalizzi INSANE? More to come. Thanks for playing.

http://micalizzi-isms.blogspot.com

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